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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23975644">Not Perfect</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/RealLifeOrFantasy_97/pseuds/RealLifeOrFantasy_97'>RealLifeOrFantasy_97</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (TV 2003), Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles - All Media Types</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Brotherly Love, Gen, Mikey is wise, One Shot, panic attack aftermath</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-05-03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 18:34:03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>847</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23975644</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/RealLifeOrFantasy_97/pseuds/RealLifeOrFantasy_97</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>"Focus on progression, not perfection"- Unknown</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>56</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Not Perfect</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This is a kind of follow-on for my one shot, "Panic". You can find it on my dashboard. </p>
<p>I'd link it here, but I'm still learning how to use this- if someone knows how to, leave it in the comments please. :)</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>I knocked gently on his door and called his name before opening it slightly and peeking in. The room was dark, save for the flickering candles around Leo, who was sat against the wall beside his bed, facing the door. His eyes were closed, head tilted back over his shell to rest against the brickwork, left leg out straight, right arm balanced on his upright knee. He looked strangely… vulnerable.</p>
<p>“Leo?”</p>
<p>His eyes opened, but he didn’t look at me. “Yeah, Mikey.”</p>
<p>I pushed through the door, closing it behind me and slowly made my way over to sit beside him. His eyes were closed again; as if not being able to see me would stop the conversation he knew I was going to start.</p>
<p>I allowed him a few moments to just breathe before finally broaching the topic.</p>
<p> “So, what was that about.” It wasn’t a question. It was a statement. I already had a suspicion what had triggered the attack, but we needed to discuss it and he needed to know I was serious and concerned.</p>
<p>His head dropped forward, still not looking at me, and locked his eyes on a point directly opposite him. “I’m alright.”</p>
<p>I shook my head, holding back a humourless chuckle because it was so typically Leonardo to try and brush something like this off. “No. No way dude. That’s not gonna fly.”</p>
<p>He let out a deep sigh, closing his eyes to compose himself.  “I just… panicked. When I saw the gun… it was already too late and he-he-”</p>
<p>He broke off to steady his quickening breathing and I braced myself. My suspicion was confirmed and I wondered how heavily this had been resting on Leo’s shoulders.</p>
<p>“He’s been hurt before, Leo.”</p>
<p>“This was different.” He whispered, sounding almost angry. “I should have seen it coming… I should have done more. I should have protected him better! And now he’s- he’s-” He broke off hiccupping, squeezing his eyes shut and tapping his head back against the wall.</p>
<p>“And now he’s on his way to a full recovery.” I finished. Leonardo sighed deeply in response. “None of this is your fault Leo. No one saw it coming before it was too late. Shell! I didn’t see it until it was over.”</p>
<p>He gave me a sideways glance, his face revealing an expression that looked scarily close to despair. I’ve never seen that look on his face and never wanted to again. It sent cold chills up and down my spine.</p>
<p>“Accidents happen, Leo. That’s all this was; a freak accident.”</p>
<p>“It could have been worse…” Leo whispered softly.</p>
<p>“But it wasn’t.” I almost snapped. The wavering quality and hopeless tone of his voice wasn’t going to solve anything; past or present. “You can’t sit here and play ‘what if’, Leo. You need to focus on what to do next.”</p>
<p>He glanced at me, surprised and I waited for him to speak.</p>
<p>“When did you get wise?”</p>
<p>I blinked, catching the flash of pride in his blue eyes. Then I grinned cheekily. “Movies dude. You know how many great cheesy lines those writers come up with?”</p>
<p>He chuckled, the tension momentarily easing in his shoulders. But then it returned and he zoned into his tightly clenched fingers. “Please don’t tell Don… or Raph…”</p>
<p>I faced him, waiting until he met my gaze, then held his azure eyes firmly with my own baby blues.</p>
<p>“I won’t, but you have too.”</p>
<p>He closed his eyes, turning away and I recognised the gesture as fear. He was scared of what they’d think, what they’d say. Leo hated people fussing over him more than anyone I knew; especially for something like this, which he found humiliating.</p>
<p>“I’m serious Leo. Your panic attacks scared the hell out of us when we were kids. They need to know.”</p>
<p>“I thought I was over them.” He admitted bitterly. “I thought they’d stopped years ago. But tonight, I just- I couldn’t…”</p>
<p>“It’s completely understandable, Leo.”</p>
<p>“I’m the Leader, Mikey. I shouldn’t have these kinds of issues.”</p>
<p>I met his self-resentful gaze straight on, hardening my own eyes into something stern and bordering on angry. “Why not? You’re not perfect, Leo.”</p>
<p>The sudden shock that moulded his expression twisted my insides. Just how much did Leo think he needed to give? How much did he think we expected of him? How much did <em>he</em> expect of <em>himself</em>?</p>
<p>“You don’t have to be perfect, Leonardo.” I said softly, because he needed to hear it. He needed to hear it, understand it, <em>accept</em> it. “You don’t have to be perfect and you’re not and that’s perfectly ok. Because you’re human Leo.” I chuckled, lightly clapping him on the shell. “Well, as human as giant mutant turtles can get.”</p>
<p>After his initial shock wore off, Leo gave a timid smile. “Thanks, Mikey.”</p>
<p>I knew he didn’t completely believe it, but that’s why I’d said it with such sincerity and conviction. It was the absolute truth: Don, Raph and I all knew that. And now, maybe Leo would challenge that deep rooted thought himself.</p>
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